destitute.

surrender to sleep
limitless love
heaving chests, so fragile
with dreams made of false allegations
and troubled scenery
despair raging through every window, 
through every corner


broken and poisoned by hatred
a pool of regret, 
drunk by sunrise 
and terribly misguided
incensed with the feeling 
that you're being cheated
of something, 
anything
pointless rage


captured and 
chained down to a nine to five, 
hands following a repetitive direction
like clockwork

pick up
put down
sigh
repeat


put your heart on ice
preserve what little love it contains
never again
are you listening?
hear the echo of a once beating muscle
so strong
so loud
yet so distant


and now you're painting a mural
in honor of your dead heart
with hues of black and grey, 
murky and
streaked by your tears.
it was just sad because even that looked
livelier than yours ever could


it felt like years later 
blue lips in a frown
constricted airways and rotted teeth
holding back a flaccid tongue
that bore resemblance to your heart, 
beatific in a way that was somewhat
sickening






I just liked you so much more when you were alive.

the invisible.

shadows swallow the being of my soul
haggard demon
with sharp pointed teeth
blackened lungs raising a sunken chest,
undead.

savored breaths
barely a whisper
caught inside a throat
with the mouth sewn shut.
a rag doll's twin, 
forever silent.



life flutters from my fingertips,
taunting me with its closeness
so sweet.
and yet I fail to reside within the light
and fall victim to the darkness,
eating away at my flesh
fraying the edges of
my sanity further and further
until it becomes an unraveled mass
laying heaped on the floor.



serenity closes my eyelids,
definite in time and
gone unacknowledged.
life perceived as beauty
closure, not since obtained
liars.

I can breath light
see sound
feel nothing
dead.

polarity.

you were like a sculpture
wrought out of cynicism and
bronzed with a layer of apathy
unnatural to the point of
repulsive

you had delicate limbs
but a strong face
made to coincide with your
abrasive personality
in all the
worst ways

but you were different, 
to say the least, 
and it was just so refreshing
that no one could help
but drift towards you, 
all caught up in a 
reverie of intrigue

and yet, 
I couldn't bear the sight of you
of your eyes
your hair
your mouth
the sound of syllables forming your words
all inducing a bitter taste
to singe my mouth
as if I swished with a permanent antiseptic
that just couldn't be rinsed out




it's too bad, really
because if chemistry were to be involved
we would be perfect for each other
but no amount of chemicals
could produce an attraction to occur between us
for this is not a science, my dear
this is love

tides.

damp and cold against my skin, 
sunlight kissing the earth
with a tenderness of
that like a mother 
to her kin.

it was early, 
the tide sweeping against the shore 
in a frothy eruption
of Earth's anger.


I lay before it
with salty water overflowing my mouth
and invading my eye sockets
thus blurring the sky
and making it dance in a blue and white tango.


I could just feel the water
filling my lungs
as I lay there amidst my own
little reverie of self pity
and hopelessness.


I was tired of fighting.
I just wanted to die.


I closed my eyes, savoring the burn 
the salt water induced
as I drew in another useless breath.
"I'm just a waste of space, 
a waste of air."

I rolled onto my stomach
and feebly pushed myself up, 
my palms sinking deeper into the soggy sand, 
and watched the rhythmic
push and pull of the waves.


push 
      and 
pull


push 
      and 
pull


--

I was still tired.
so tired.

--


so I walked into the water
and 
I pushed against the tide
until I felt nothing, 
and sank, 
deeper and deeper down




until I felt nothing at all.

Currently Avalon By Anthony Green She Loves Me So see related

desolate.